Before our time-but---

One of my kids asked the other day, "What was your favorite fast
food when you were growing up?"  

"We didn't have fast food when I was growing up," I informed him. "All the
food was slow."

"C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?"

"It was a place called 'at home," I explained.

"Grandma cooked every day and when Grandpa

got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I
didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did
like it."

By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to
suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I
had to have permission to leave the table.

But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if
I figured his system could have handled it:

Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis, set foot on a golf
course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card. In their later
years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good
only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears AND Roebuck. Either way, there
is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.

My parents never drove me to soccer practice.

This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that
weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow).

We didn't have a television in our house until I was 11, but my
grandparents had one before that. It was, of course, black and white, but
they bought a piece of colored plastic to cover the screen. The top third
was blue, like the sky, and the bottom third was green, like grass. The
middle third was red. It was perfect for programs that had scenes of fire
trucks riding across someone's lawn on a sunny day. Some people had a lens
taped to the front of the TV to make the picture look larger.

I was 13 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called "pizza pie.." When I
bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung
own, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the
best pizza I ever had.

We didn't have a car until I was 15. Before that, the only car in our
family was my grandfather's Ford. He called it a "machine."

I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the
living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to
listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the

Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was. All newspapers were
delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers. I delivered a
newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which I got to keep
2 cents. I had to get up at 4 AM every morning. On Saturday, I had to
collect the 42 cents from my customers. My favorite customers were the ones
who gave me 50 cents and told me to keep the change. My least favorite
customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.

Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the
movies. Touching someone else's tongue with yours was called French kissing
and they didn't do that in movies. I don't know what they did in French
movies. French movies were dirty and we weren't allowed to see them.

If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to
share some of these Memories with your children or grandchildren.

Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.

Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?

MEMORIES from a friend:

My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house and he brought me an old
Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of
holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but my kid had no idea.

He thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it
as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to "sprinkle"
clothes with because we didn't have steam irons.

Man, I am old.

How many do you remember?

Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.

Ignition switches on the dashboard.

Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.

Real ice boxes.

Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.

Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.

Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.

Older Than Dirt Quiz: Count all the ones that you

remember not the ones you were told about!

Ratings at the bottom.

1. Blackjack chewing gum

2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water

3. Candy cigarettes

Soda pop machines that dispensed bottles

Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes

Home milk delivery in glass bottles with
cardboard stoppers

7. Party lines

Newsreels before the movie

P.F. Flyers

Butch wax

Telephone numbers with a word prefix (Olive-6933)

12. Peashooters

Howdy Doody

14. 45 RPM records

15. S&H Green Stamps


Metal ice trays with lever

Mimeograph paper

Blue flashbulb


Roller skate keys

22. Cork popguns

23. Drive-ins


25. Wash tub wringers

If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young

If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older

If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age,

If you remembered 16-25 = You're older than dirt!