Children - God Love Them!

 

Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. A small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."

 

A grandmother was surprised by her 7-year-old grandson one morning. He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green army men in the cup. She said, "Honey, what are the army men doing in my coffee?" Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV - 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup! "

 

Susie Sunshine asked her Sunday school class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Jimmy's picture which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. "The flight to Egypt," said Jimmy. "I see . . . and that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms. Susie said. "But who's the fourth person?" "Oh, that's Pontius the Pilot."

 

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, “For heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out."

 

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster. "No, "said another, "he's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."

 

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, Mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked little Johnny. "Giving up?"